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For a while he was both. Now he can’t be a Guard and he feels he can’t be a real father with only one leg.He’s hardly out of the hospital when they discover Mrs Hilston has an advanced cancer with only a few months to live. Since the doctors can’t halt or effectively treat the cancer she declares a wish to be at home with her family and not in a hospital. Having just been released from the hospital, and still recovering his own strength, Mr Hilston is unable to care for his wife. The Claymore Association (CA), the retired Guards body, pays for a nurse to see to their care. Two months later Mrs Hilston dies.October, 1999, sees Mr Hilston very angry and very worried. He couldn’t care for his dying wife and he can’t get a job because all he knows is soldiering. Also, he now feels he can’t care for his daughter properly. He becomes very withdrawn, and he starts to drink too much.The whole year has been a heavy trial for seven year old Melody, but watching her father vanish inside himself. They are much more discreet."Have you gone with any?" Kelly asked, wide eyed."No." I replied, "Although I've been tempted, but there's still the problem of pregnancy and V.D., and all that. Once again, they're just out to get laid. But there are other ways too." Like?" Kelly asked.I grinned at her. "Well, one of them takes a lot of batteries." Masturbation?" Kelly seemed shocked, "You don't do that do you?" Of course I do." I responded. "And don't even try to tell me that you don't. I'd be willing to bet anything that you've rubbed yourself off before." Never!" Kelly protested, a little too strongly, I thought, and followed with, "That's perverted!"I tried to look Kelly in the eye at that, but she averted her eyes, all but confirming my suspicions."Well I do," I replied. "All the damn time. I get so horny," I had paused then to consider where this was leading, decided I was on the right path and plunged ahead."Let me tell you something, Kelly, all the orgasms I've had in my life have.
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